All Things Maine
All Things Maine

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

'Mrs. Smith' Gets a Ride Home

Today at VillageSoup, retired State Trooper Mark Nickerson tells of one memorable night on the job. An excerpt:
As I got closer to the flicker of light, I began to make out what it was. It was a little old lady, well into her 70s, sitting right in the middle of the road. As I pulled up beside her, I noticed she was dressed up in a white jumpsuit, her hair was neat, and in her right hand she was holding a lighted Bic lighter, which she was waving back and forth.

I also noticed a stream of liquid underneath her, running right down the middle of Route 3. At first I thought she had put a bottle of beer in her pants, but seeing no bottle, it could only mean one thing. Yup, she was relieving herself on the yellow line in the middle of the road. I could tell even without speaking with her, that this was one very drunk lady.

I thought to myself, “This is going to be fun.” [Link]
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